Short Stories

Unusual Tattoos A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh, right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?" She said, "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas." Discussing Boyfriends A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: "Last night I had three orgasms in a row!" Blonde: "That's nothing; last night I had ov...

Boxers and Their Wives While reading a newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear." Gray Hairs Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates... "I know you haven't been getting much lately... but I didn't know you were so worried about it!" Three Women to Marry A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and waits to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him t...

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them in fifty years' time. The first said, "I would like my grandchildren to say 'He was great fun to be with.'" "Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want mine to say 'He was a loyal and loving family man.'" Turning to the third man, they asked him, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?" "I want them to say," the third man replied, "He looks really good for his age!"