Short Stories

A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."

One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?" To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!" The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm". The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea...

Drinking all day at a bar a man stumbles to the restroom to throw up. He doesn't make it in time and pukes all over the front of his shirt. As the drunk returned to the bar the bartender asks: "what the hell happened?" The drunk is very upset explaining to the bartender: "my wife gonna be pissed off! She just got me this shirt as an anniversary gift. Soon as she sees puke all over it, she will be shitty!" The bartender, being helpful says: "I got an idea. Why don't you put a $10 bill in the front shirt pocket and when she notices the puke you can say you drove a drunk fella home from the bar and during the drive, he got sick and puked all over the front of your new shirt?" Naturally, the guy felt bad so he gave you the $10 so you could have it cleaned. The drunk looked at the bartender a moment, thinking it over. "That's a great idea, the drunk slurs. Thank you." And the drunk left. When the drunk walked in the front door of...

There was a guy in a bar one night that got drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed, he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well, the nun was totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt. Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much. So then he leaned over her, put his face right next to hers and said; "Not very f..kin' strong tonight, are you Batman?"

A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog. The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!" The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!" He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears. The crocodile opens its jaws wide. The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again. The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker. Everybody in the bar is very impressed. To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!" But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars. Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice: "I think I can do it!" Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!" The man continues, to th...

The Deep inside a forest, there was a pond. Many fishes, crabs and frogs lived in the pond. Theirs was a happy and peaceful life. Among them lived two beautiful fishes named Sahasrabuddhi and Shatabuddhi. They were bigger than the other fishes in the pond. They were very proud of their good looks and intelligence. Animal Stories: The Clever Frog In the same pond lived a frog with his wife. His name was Ekkabuddhi. The fishes and frogs were good friends. They all led an undisturbed life. But one day two fishermen, returning from the river in the forest after fishing. came across the pond. It was late in the evening and as usual all the fishes and frogs were at play. Sahasrabuddhi, Shatabuddhi, Ekkabuddhi and many others joined the game. They leaped high into the air and chased each other. Seeing the beautiful scene the fishermen were amazed and stopped in their tracks. “How beautiful they look?" said one fisherman. “Yes. And so many of them too," replied the ...

There once lived a lion, the king of the forest. He was always accompanied by a jackal and a crow. They followed him every where and lived on the remains of his food. In a village close to the forest there lived a woodcutter. Everyday, he would go into the forest with his axe to chop wood. The Lion and The Woodcutter One day as the woodcutter was busy chopping a tree, he heard a noise behind him. Turning around, he saw the lion looking straight at him, ready to pounce. The woodcutter was a clever man. He quickly said, “Greetings… King of this forest. It is a pleasure to meet you." The lion was surprised. “A pleasure to meet me? Are you not afraid of me?" “I respect you a lot…lion. I was hoping to meet you. You see, my wife is an excellent cook. I wanted you to taste her dal and vegetables." “Dal? Vegetables? Don’t you know that I eat only flesh?" asked the lion in surprise. “If you taste my wife’s cooking, you will stop eating flesh," said the...

Once there were two friends Kanakaksha the owl and Sumitra the swan. Sumitra was the king of the swans. But Kanakaksha was an ordinary owl. He was afraid to let Sumitra know that he was a poor owl. So he told Sumitra that he was also a king and also had subjects. Everyday the owl would fly to the pond where the swan lived. The Owl and The Swan One day as usual, Kanakaksha flew to the pond to meet his friend. “Good morning Sumitra, how are you today?" he asked. “Good morning my friend, I am fine. Just caught up with the usual work of a king – solving disputes among my subjects," replied Sumitra. Just then, one of Sumitra’s subjects came up to him and whispered something in his ear. “Oh!" exclaimed Sumitra. “Kanakaksha, please give me a moment. I have to settle another dispute between two of my subjects." “Very well Sumitra," answered the owl. “I will wait right here." After Sumitra left to find his subjects, Kanakaksha thought to himself, “I...

One day a peacock met a crane and said, “So sorry for you. You have so dull feathers. Look at the fine colours of my feathers." The Peacock and The Crane  “Well!’ replied the crane, “your look are brighter then mine. But whereas I can fly high up into the sky. All you can do is to strut about on the ground."

Once a snake who had grown weak with old age came across a pond where many frogs lived with their king, queen and little prince. The snake had not eaten for many days. He tried to catch some of the frogs, but was too weak to catch any of them. “I will have to think of some solution or I will soon die," the snake thought. The Snake and The Foolish Frogs Just then he saw the frog prince and his friends. They were busy in their game and did not notice the snake. When they came very close, one of them saw the snake and jumped up, “Oh, a snake," he shouted in fear. All of them ran for their lives. But when the snake did not move, the frog prince went up to it. The snake still did not move. “Let me see if he is dead?" said the frog prince and knocked on the snake’s head and jumped away quickly. The snake slowly opened its eyes and said, “Do not worry. I will not get angry no matter what you do." The frogs were very surprised. “I once bit a sage’s son," exp...

There was a lake at the outskirts of a small village. Two swans and a turtle who were good friends lived in the lake. They would play with each other and pass time telling stories. One year, there were no rains and the lake started drying up. “The lake is almost dry. We have to find some other place to live," said the turtle to the swans. “We will fly around and look for a suitable place," said the swans. Both the swans flew in different directions in search of a better place to live. A little distance away, one of the swans spotted a large lake. It had plenty of water and there were many fishes in it. He flew back to tell the others. The three of them were very excited with the find. “Wow! Now we won’t have any problem," said the turtle. “There is only one problem," replied one swan. “The two of us can fly there in no time. But you crawl very slowly. And it is some distance away. You will never reach there." The turtle thought for some time. Suddenly...

There was a large berry tree on the bank of a river. On this tree lived a monkey called Rhesa. He was a clever and good hearted monkey. He offered berries to all the animals and birds who came to the river to quench their thirst. In the river, there lived a crocodile named Magar. He lived with his wife in a cave at the bottom of the river. One day Magar the crocodile came to the river bank to catch his prey. It was a hot and sunny day and Magar had not caught any thing the whole day. Tired and hot, he dragged himself to the shade of the berry tree for some rest. He had hardly closed his eyes when he heard somebody calling out to him. “Hello friend. I am up here." Magar looked up to find Rhesa the monkey smiling down at him. The monkey plucked a handful of juicy berries and threw them down to Magar. “Eat these. They will quench your thirst." “Thank you," said Magar and ate the delicious berries. From then on, everyday, Magar would come to the river’s bank and ea...

There were two goats. Over a river there was a very narrow bridge. One day a goat was crossing this bridge. Just at the middle of the bridge he met another goat. Two Goats There was no room for them to pass. "Go back," said one goat to the other, "There is no room for both of us". "Why should I go back?" said the other goat. "Better you must go back." “You must go back", said the first goat, "because I am stronger than you." "You are not stronger than I", said the second goat. "We will see about that", said the first goat and he put down his horns to fight. "Stop!" said the second goat. “If we fight, we shall both fall into the river and be drowned and instead I have a plan. I shall lie down and you may walk over me." Then the wise one laid down on the bridge and the other goat walked highly over him. So they crossed the bridge comfortably and went on their ways.

A rat and its big family were living in a baker's shop. They scraped the buns and cakes in the bakery. The baker tried his best to put an end to the nuisance of the rats. But all were in vain. At last he brought their real enemy-the cat to solve the problem. In the very next day the cat got some tiny rats for its breakfast. The rat family got worried of the loss of their dear ones. They arranged a meeting soon. They looked for an idea to escape from the cat. In the end, they decided to bell the cat. Then one of the elder rats asked them, who is ready to bell the cat? Nobody said yes. Instead they kept quiet.

This is a short story to teach you that you can not please everyone. A man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said : "You fool, what a Donkey for but to ride is upon?" So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men. One of whom said : "See that lazy youngster. He lets his father walk while he rides." So the Man ordered his Boy to get off and got on himself. But they hadn't gone far when they passed two women. One of whom said to the other : "Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along." Well the Man did not know what to do. But at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said : "Aren't you ashamed of yourself for ove...