A guy in a bar one night

You may also like

There was a guy in a bar one night that got drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk.
When the bar closed, he got up to go home.
As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk.
So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face.
Well, the nun was totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punched her again.
This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt.
Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.
By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much.
So then he leaned over her, put his face right next to hers and said;
"Not very f..kin' strong tonight, are you Batman?"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Animal Stories: The Clever Frog

Image
The Deep inside a forest, there was a pond. Many fishes, crabs and frogs lived in the pond. Theirs was a happy and peaceful life. Among them lived two beautiful fishes named Sahasrabuddhi and Shatabuddhi. They were bigger than the other fishes in the pond. They were very proud of their good looks and intelligence. Animal Stories: The Clever Frog In the same pond lived a frog with his wife. His name was Ekkabuddhi. The fishes and frogs were good friends. They all led an undisturbed life. But one day two fishermen, returning from the river in the forest after fishing. came across the pond. It was late in the evening and as usual all the fishes and frogs were at play. Sahasrabuddhi, Shatabuddhi, Ekkabuddhi and many others joined the game. They leaped high into the air and chased each other. Seeing the beautiful scene the fishermen were amazed and stopped in their tracks. “How beautiful they look?" said one fisherman. “Yes. And so many of them too," replied the ...
Read more

The Donkey Who Would Sing

Image
The Donkey Who Would Sing A wild donkey once lived in the woods. He had no friends and lived all alone. One day a jackal passing by saw the donkey. He went up to the donkey and said, “What is the matter? Why do you look so sad my dear fellow?" The donkey turned to the jackal and said, “I have no friends and am very lonely." “Well, don't worry. I will be your friend from today," the jackal comforted him. From that day, the donkey and jackal became very good friends. They were always seen together. One moonlit evening, the jackal and the donkey were strolling through the woods. It was a cool and pleasant evening. As they walked on, they came to the outskirts of a village bordering the woods. There in front of them was a grove of fruit trees. “Ah. Look! How wonderful and delicious the fruits look," said the donkey. “Let’s eat some of them." “Okay," said the jackal. “But let’s do it very quietly." They entered the grove and silentl...
Read more

The World's Greatest Short Stories (Dover Thrift Editions)

Image
The World's Greatest Short Stories (Dover Thrift Editions) MORE DETAILS >>> Wonderfully wide-ranging and enjoyable, this outstanding collection features short stories by great 19- and 20th-century writers from America, the United Kingdom, Ireland, and Western Europe. Included are Hemingway's "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place," in which two waiters and a lonely customer in a Spanish cafe confront the concept of nothingness; "A & P," John Updike's most anthologized story and one of his most popular; "Borges and I," typical Jorge Luis Borges — imaginative, philosophical, and mysterious; as well as short masterpieces by Leo Tolstoy, Anton Chekhov, Herman Melville, Thomas Mann, Guy de Maupassant, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, D. H. Lawrence, and ten other great writers. Prime examples of the classic short story, these enduring literary treasures will be invaluable to students and teachers as well as to anyone who appreciates the finel...
Read more

Animal Stories: The Lazy Dreamer

The Lazy Dreamer : Once, in a small village, there lived a poor Brahmin. He was very learned, but did nothing all day. He lived on the alms the villagers gave him every day. One day, as usual, the Brahmin got up in the morning, performed his morning rituals and set out to beg for alms. As he went from door to door, people gave him several things. Some gave dal. Others gave him rice and yet others gave him vegetables. But one generous lady gave the Brahmin a large measure of flour. “Ah! What good luck. I will not have to beg for alms for a long time," thought the Brahmin to himself. He went home and cooked his lunch. After he had eaten, the Brahmin put the flour into a large mud pot and hung it near his bed. “Now, it will be safe from rats," he said to himself as he lay down in his cot for an afternoon nap. He began to think, “I will save this flour until there is a famine. Then I will sell it at a very good price. With that, I will buy a pair of goats. Very soon, I...
Read more

Animal Stories: The Faithful Mongoose

Image
Once there lived a kind Brahmin in a small village with his wife. They had a little son. One day, as he was returning home from a nearby village, he came across a baby mongoose crying next to its mother’s dead body. “Oh! poor creature," thought the Brahmin. “If I leave it here it will surely die." He picked it up and took it home with him. “Gowri, I found this little creature on my way home. Let us take care of him," he said to his wife. “Very well along with our son, I will take care of the mongoose also," replied his wife. The mongoose grew up with a lot of love and care in the Brahmin’s house. He slept next to the Brahmin’s son in the cradle, drank milk and played with the boy everyday. The baby mongoose’s days were full of joy in the Brahmin’s house. As both the boy and the mongoose grew up, their friendship changed to a relationship between two brothers. The mongoose grew up fast and as days went by, the Brahmin’s wife began to get doubts in her mind...
Read more

Animal Stories: The Crane and The Snake

Image
In a forest close to the river bank mere lived a crane with his wife. They were very unhappy. Every time the wife laid eggs in their nest, a big black cobra who lived in a hollow in the tree, would eat them up. The crane had a friend the crab. He went to his friend the crab and shared his misery. "I feel so hopeless….That sneaking thief has eaten our eggs again," complained the crane angrily.  “Don’t worry," said the crab comfortingly. “You need not be hopeless when you have a friend like me. We will come up with a solution."  The crab sat to think of a plan. Suddenly he jumped up and rushed to the crane.  “Friend, I have a wonderful plan," said the crab and whispered something into the crane’s car.  The crane flew back to his nest and told his wife all about the crab’s plan. He was very excited.  “Are you sure this will work?" asked the wife.  “I hope we are not making a mistake. Think twice before going ahead with the plan."  But th...
Read more

The Donkey and The Load of Salt

Image
Once, there lived a peddler. The peddler sold all sorts of goods….sturdy shoes for the farmers and pretty trinkets for their sweethearts, warm, woolly shawls to keep the women warm and sweet, sticky toffees for the children to munch on their way back from school.  Some days he sold fruits and on other days, kettles. To carry all his wares, the peddler had a donkey. Every morning, the peddler loaded the donkey with his wares. The two would set out and walk from farmhouse to farmhouse, from village to village and from market to market.  The peddler always walked ahead, whistling merrily as he went. The poor donkey followed, trying as hard as he could to keep up with his master and groaning under the weight of his load.  Every evening, their wares sold, the peddler and his donkey would wend their way home. The peddler, pleased with the day's takings, would walk ahead, jingling the pennies in his pocket. The poor old donkey would follow, foot sore and weary from carry...
Read more

Animal Stories: The Foolish Crow

Image
The winter had been especially cold. The snow lay thick and heavy on the ground. The squirrels, the badgers and the hedgehogs had vanished into their snug winter homes to sleep away the cold, dark months. The swifts and the swallows had left for warmer countries long ago. Even the slugs and snails had disappeared, hiding away in some dark, warm patch of woodland to wait for the spring. The woods and fields were silent and empty. Only a big, black Crow was hunting for her evening meal.  The Crow had flown all day in search of food. But she had found nothing, not even a tiny mouse or a piece of someone’s leftover lunch. Now she was tired and hungry. She cawed sadly.  “I will have to go without dinner tonight,’ she thought as she flapped slowly across the sky in one last desperate search for something to eat.  She was on the point of turning back when she saw a thin column of smoke coming up into the sky, far away in the distance.  “Smoke means fire and fire ...
Read more

The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway: The Finca Vigia Edition

Image
The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway: The Finca Vigia Edition CHECK PRICE >>> THE ONLY COMPLETE COLLECTION BY THE NOBEL PRIZE-WINNING AUTHOR In this definitive collection of Ernest Hemingway's short stories, readers will delight in the author's most beloved classics such as "The Snows of Kilimanjaro," "Hills Like White Elephants," and "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place," and will discover seven new tales published for the first time in this collection. For Hemingway fans The Complete Short Stories is an invaluable treasury. Editorial Reviews About the Author Ernest Hemingway did more to influence the style of English prose than any other writer of his time. Publication of The Sun Also Rises and A Farewell to Arms immediately established him as one of the greatest literary lights of the 20th century. His classic novella The Old Man and the Sea won the Pulitzer Prize in 1953. Hemingway was awarded the Nobel Prize for Lite...
Read more

50 Great Short Stories

Image
50 Great Short Stories is a comprehensive selection from the world’s finest short fiction. CHECK PRICE >>> 50 Great Short Stories is a comprehensive selection from the world’s finest short fiction. The authors represented range from Hawthorne, Maupassant, and Poe, through Henry James, Conrad, Aldous Huxley, and James Joyce, to Hemingway, Katherine Anne Porter, Faulkner, E.B. White, Saroyan, and O’Connor. The variety in style and subject is enormous, but all these stories have one point in common—the enduring quality of the writing, which places them among the masterpieces of the world’s fiction. Editorial Reviews From the Inside Flap "50 Great Short Stories is a comprehensive selection from the world's finest short fiction. The authors represented range from Hawthorne, Maupassant, and Poe, through Henry James, Conrad, Aldous Huxley, and James Joyce, to Hemingway, Katherine Anne Porter, Faulkner, E.B. White, Saroyan, and O'Connor. The variety i...
Read more