I thought I’d gone deaf

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Husband to wife: ‘I hear you’ve been telling everyone that I’m an idiot.’
Wife: ‘Sorry, I didn’t know it was a secret.’

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car.
‘What’s up?’ says the driver.
‘Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,’ says the policeman.
‘Thank goodness for that,’ says the driver. ‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’

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